“Therapy isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about learning how to drive the car you were given, even when the check engine light is on.”
Listen, sis. You’ve probably thought about therapy. Maybe you’re scrolling through TikTok seeing everyone talk about their therapist, or your campus health center keeps sending emails about counseling services.
But there’s a whole side of starting therapy that nobody really talks about. The awkward, messy, and honestly kinda frustrating parts that happen before it starts to actually help.
Let’s keep it 100 about what it’s really like, so you can walk in with your eyes wide open.
The First Session is Weird (And That’s Okay)
You sit down with a complete stranger and are supposed to just… spill your trauma? About your toxic situationship, your student loan anxiety, or the fact that you cry in the Target parking lot sometimes?
It feels forced. It feels vulnerable in the worst way. You might leave thinking, “I just paid $150 to feel awkward for 50 minutes.” Girl, I have been there.
The secret? That first session is a JOB INTERVIEW. You are interviewing THEM to see if they’re a good fit for YOU. It’s not a test you have to pass.
💡 Quick Tip
Go in with 2-3 questions. Ask: “What’s your approach with clients like me?” or “How do you typically help someone dealing with [your specific thing]?” It shifts the power dynamic immediately.
It’s Not Just Talking. It’s Homework.
You think you just show up and vent once a week. Nah. Real therapy gives you assignments. Like, actual “try this before next Tuesday” tasks.
Maybe it’s texting your roommate an actual need instead of passive-aggressively cleaning the whole kitchen. Or setting a 10-minute social media timer when you feel the comparison spiral starting.
The growth happens in the *between* moments, not just in the session. If your therapist isn’t giving you tools to use in real life, you might need a different one.
📓 What Works: The Five Minute Journal – My therapist recommended this. It’s not cheesy deep prompts, just 5 mins morning/night to check in with yourself. Game-changer for noticing your own patterns.
What Actually Works
Finding the RIGHT therapist is everything. It’s like dating. You might need to try a few. Don’t settle for someone who just nods and says “mmhmm.”
Look for someone who challenges you gently. Who calls you out when you’re telling a story where you’re clearly the victim but maybe you had some agency too. Who gives you frameworks, not just sympathy.
Therapy can cut anxiety symptoms by nearly 60%. Let that sink in.
And about cost? If your insurance sucks or you don’t have any, listen up. Most therapists have “sliding scale” spots based on your income. You have to ASK. Many training clinics at universities offer super low-cost sessions with grad students (who are supervised by pros).
The Truth Nobody Tells You
Sometimes, you will feel WORSE before you feel better. And nobody warns you.
You’re poking at old wounds, pulling apart patterns you learned from your family, and facing stuff you’ve been numbing with busyness. It’s exhausting. You might be snippy with your friends or need to nap after a session.
That’s not a sign it’s failing. It’s a sign it’s working. You’re cleaning out the mental closet. It gets messy before it gets organized.
“Your therapist’s job isn’t to be your friend. It’s to be your mirror, even when you don’t like your reflection.”
This is the kind of stuff women talk about inside TechMae every single day. No judgment, just real ones keeping it real.
Related: This post is a must-read for women on their journey.
Start Here
Your one clear action: Go to Psychology Today’s therapist finder RIGHT NOW. Don’t overthink it.
Filter by your location, your insurance (or “sliding scale”), and issues (anxiety, life transitions, racial identity, whatever). Read 3 profiles. See who you vibe with from their photo and bio. Book one consult call. That’s it.
Why This Works:
✅ You take action in 5 minutes, which beats weeks of “I should.”
✅ A consult call has zero pressure. It’s just info-gathering.
✅ You prove to yourself that you’re capable of prioritizing your mental health.
You might also love this article – one of our most shared.
This Is Your Sign to Stop Doing It Alone
Women inside TechMae have been exactly where you are. Come find your people.
