“Your ‘no’ is a complete sentence. Your ‘yes’ doesn’t need a five-page essay attached.”
Listen, sis. Let’s talk about your communication for a second. Specifically, that thing you do where you send a three-paragraph text to your boss just to ask for a day off. Or where you apologize before asking a simple question in class. That, girl, is over-explaining.
And it’s draining your time, your energy, and your power. You’re not just sharing info—you’re subconsciously asking for permission to exist. We gotta stop.
Why We Do It (And Why It’s Exhausting)
We’re taught to be polite, accommodating, and non-confrontational. So when we need something, we cushion it. We pre-apologize. We add 17 reasons why our request is valid, just in case someone thinks we’re being “difficult.”
You see it everywhere. The group project Slack channel where you’re the only one justifying your edits. The email to a professor that starts with “Sorry to bother you…” The date where you explain your dietary preference like it’s a thesis defense.
It’s a fear-based communication habit. You’re trying to manage the other person’s potential reaction before they even have one. Let that sink in.
💡 Quick Tip
Before you hit send on that novel of a text or email, delete everything after the period in your first sentence. Read it back. If the core ask is still clear, send it. That’s all you need.
What Actually Works
The shift is simple: move from justifying to stating. Your communication becomes clear, confident, and leaves less room for people to poke holes in your “story.”
Instead of: “Hi Professor! So sorry to email you on a Friday, I know you’re busy. I was just wondering if maybe you had a chance to look at my paper? No rush at all, I just wanted to check in because I’m trying to plan my weekend around studying. Thanks so much!”
Try: “Hi Professor, following up on my paper submission. Please let me know when you have feedback. Thank you.”
See the difference? One sounds like you’re begging for crumbs of their time. The other assumes your time has value too.
Women apologize more & justify more. Your words are not an audition for your worth.
The Truth Nobody Tells You
People respect concise communication MORE, not less. That professor, that manager, that guy you’re dating? They subconsciously assign more authority to the person who speaks less but says more.
Over-explaining actually invites more scrutiny. When you give a bunch of reasons, you give people a bunch of things to question or negotiate with. A clean, clear statement? It’s harder to argue with.
And sis, the men in your life are not doing this. They’re just… stating things. And getting what they want. Watch them. Learn from it.
📚 What Works: Crucial Conversations – This book breaks down how to handle high-stakes communication without freaking out. It’s a game-changer for tough talks with roommates, bosses, or family.
This is the kind of stuff women talk about inside TechMae every single day. No judgment, just real ones keeping it real.
Related: This post is a must-read for women on their journey.
Start Here
Your one action for this week: Practice the “One-Sentence Rule.” For any low-stakes request or decline, limit yourself to one polite, clear sentence. No “because,” no “sorry,” no “I just.”
Why This Works:
✅ It saves you mental energy from crafting a whole backstory.
✅ It trains your brain that your needs don’t require a defense.
✅ People will start to see you as more direct and decisive.
You might also love this article – one of our most shared.
This Is Your Sign to Stop Doing It Alone
Women inside TechMae have been exactly where you are. Come find your people.
