“He told me I was the only one who understood him. Then he asked me to send $300 for a plane ticket to come see me. I never saw a dime — or him.”
Listen, I need to talk to you about something that is way more common than you think. Romance scams are not just something that happens to “other people” or older women on Facebook. They are happening right now on dating apps, Instagram DMs, and even Discord servers — and they are targeting girls exactly like you.
You might be sitting there thinking, “I would never fall for that. I am too smart.” And girl, I believe you are smart. But these scammers are professional manipulators. They study human psychology the way you study for finals. And they know exactly which buttons to push on a young woman who is already stressed about tuition, her roommate drama, and whether her crush actually likes her back.
Let me break down exactly how romance scams work, why they are targeting women your age, and — most importantly — how to never become a victim. Because you deserve to date without your bank account getting drained or your heart getting shattered by some random dude in a basement.
Wait, Do Romance Scams Actually Happen To Young Women?
Yes. And the numbers are honestly terrifying. In 2023 alone, the Federal Trade Commission reported that people under 30 lost over $200 million to romance scams. That is not a typo. Two hundred million dollars. And those are just the cases people actually reported — the real number is probably double that.
Think about that for a second. You are out here stressing about whether you can afford that $6 iced coffee, while some scammer is sitting in another country running the same script on fifteen other girls at the same time. He is not special. He is not your soulmate. He is running a business, and you are the product.
$200 MILLION LOST BY PEOPLE UNDER 30 TO ROMANCE SCAMS IN 2023
And here is the part that makes me angry: most young women do not report it because they feel embarrassed. They think, “I should have known better.” Sis, no. You were manipulated by someone who does this for a living. That is not your fault. That is a crime.
The average victim loses $2,000 before they realize what is happening. For a college student or someone working their first job, that could be your entire savings. That could be your rent. That could be the money you were saving for a used car so you do not have to take the bus to your internship.
How Do Romance Scams Actually Work?
Okay, so here is the playbook they use. And once you know it, you will start seeing it everywhere. These romance scams follow a pattern that is almost identical every single time, because it works. They are not creative — they are effective.
First, they create a fake profile. Usually a guy who is “in the military” or “working overseas” or “an engineer on an oil rig.” Why? Because it explains why they cannot video call, meet in person, or do anything that would expose their real identity. They use stolen photos of actual attractive men — sometimes models, sometimes just random guys whose social media they scraped.
Second, they love-bomb you. Hard. Within days or weeks, they are telling you that you are their soulmate, that they have never felt this way before, that you are “different” from everyone else. They mirror your interests, your values, your dreams. It feels like a fairytale. And when you are already lonely, stressed, or feeling like nobody really sees you? That attention hits like a drug.
Third, they manufacture a crisis. A medical emergency. A stolen wallet. A business deal that fell through. They need money to come see you. They need money for a plane ticket. They need money for surgery. And they promise to pay it back the second they “get their inheritance” or “close the deal.”
Fourth, they keep pushing. The asks get bigger. They guilt you. They make you feel like if you really loved them, you would help. They isolate you from friends who might warn you. And before you know it, you have sent thousands of dollars to a person who does not exist.
💡 Quick Tip
Run their profile photos through Google Reverse Image Search. If the same photo shows up under a different name on a different site, that is a massive red flag. Do this before you even reply to a DM from someone you do not know.
Why Are You Specifically A Target?
I am going to be real with you. Scammers target young women because they know you are more likely to be empathetic, more likely to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and more likely to be financially unstable enough that the promise of a “rich boyfriend” sounds appealing.
They also know that many young women feel lonely. College is isolating. Your first job out of school can feel like nobody has your back. You are figuring out who you are, and sometimes that means you are more vulnerable to someone who seems to see you perfectly.
That is not a weakness. That is being human. But you need to know that these predators are actively looking for women who are kind, trusting, and maybe a little bit lonely. They prey on your best qualities and turn them against you.
The Red Flags You Are Probably Ignoring
There are specific signs that scream “romance scam” that most women miss because they are too busy being flattered. Let me lay them out for you so you can spot them from a mile away.
If a guy you have never met in person asks you for money, for gift cards, for anything — the answer is no. Period. No explanation needed. No guilt. No “but he seems so genuine.” Genuine people do not ask strangers for money.
💊 What Works: Privacy Screen Protector for Your Phone – Keeps people from looking over your shoulder at your messages. If you are dating online, the last thing you need is some rando on the bus reading your conversation. Also, get a password manager so you never reuse passwords across dating apps and bank accounts.
What Actually Works To Protect Yourself
Alright, enough about what they do. Let me tell you exactly what you need to do to stay safe. These are not vague tips — these are specific actions you can take today.
First, never send money to someone you have not met in person. That is the golden rule. I do not care if they have a sob story that would make a Hollywood screenwriter cry. You Venmo someone you have known for years, not a profile picture you matched with three weeks ago.
Second, reverse image search every profile photo. Google Images, TinEye, and even facial recognition tools like PimEyes can tell you if that handsome guy is actually a stock photo or a stolen image from some influencer in Europe. If his photos come back under multiple names, block and delete.
Third, video call before you catch feelings. If he refuses to video call, that is a dealbreaker. Not a yellow flag. Not a “maybe he is shy.” A dealbreaker. If he is real, he will show his face. If he is not, he will have a thousand excuses. Do not accept them.
Fourth, talk to your friends. This is huge. Romance scams thrive in secrecy. The moment you feel like you cannot tell your best friend or your sister about this guy, that is a red flag. If he is isolating you from your support system, he is controlling you. Real love does not require silence.
Why This Works:
✅ Reverse image search catches stolen photos immediately
✅ Video calls force them to show their real face or reveal they are lying
✅ Talking to friends breaks the isolation cycle scammers depend on
✅ Never sending money removes their entire financial incentive
The Truth Nobody Tells You About Romance Scams
Here is something that does not get talked about enough. Romance scams are not just about money. They are about emotional manipulation that can mess with your head for years. Even if you never send a dime, the psychological damage of thinking you found love only to realize it was a con can break your trust in people for a long time.
I have talked to women who were scammed emotionally — not financially — and they still felt violated. They shared intimate details of their lives, their traumas, their dreams. And then they found out the person on the other end was a 45-year-old man in Nigeria running a script. That betrayal stays with you.
So protecting yourself from romance scams is not just about your bank account. It is about protecting your heart and your mental health. You deserve to date people who are real, who show up, who do not hide behind fake photos and manufactured emergencies.
“If he is real, he will wait. If he is a scammer, he will pressure you. Pressure is proof he is not who he says he is.”
What To Do If You Think You Are Being Scammed
If you are reading this and something in your gut is telling you that guy you have been talking to might be a scammer, listen to that feeling. Your intuition is smarter than your heart right now. Here is exactly what to do.
Stop all communication. Do not explain why. Do not give him a chance to manipulate you back. Just block him on every platform. Scammers are trained to sweet-talk their way back in if you leave the door open even a crack.
Report the profile to the dating app or social media platform. Most apps have a “report fake profile” option. Use it. You might save the next girl from falling for the same scam.
If you sent money, report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and contact your bank immediately. Sometimes you can reverse the transaction if you act fast. Do not be embarrassed. The FTC sees thousands of these cases every year. You are not the first, and you will not be the last.
Talk to someone you trust. A friend, a family member, a therapist. Do not sit alone with the shame. That shame is exactly what keeps women silent, and silence is what lets these scammers keep operating. You did nothing wrong by being kind and trusting. The only person who did something wrong is the criminal who took advantage of that.
This is the kind of stuff women talk about inside TechMae every single day. No judgment, just real ones keeping it real. We have a whole community of women who have been through this and come out stronger on the other side. You do not have to figure this out alone.
Related: This post is a must-read for women on their journey to trusting themselves again after being manipulated.
Start Here
One thing you can do right now, today, to protect yourself from romance scams: go through your DMs and dating app matches. Look at every conversation you have had in the last month. Is there anyone who has never video called you? Anyone who has made excuses about meeting? Anyone who has brought up money even once?
If yes, screenshot everything, block them, and report the profile. Do it right now while you are thinking about it. Do not wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is when they will ask you for that “small favor” that turns into a $500 loss.
Your Protection Checklist:
✅ Reverse image search every new match’s photos
✅ Demand a video call before you get attached
✅ Never send money, gift cards, or “emergency funds”
✅ Tell a friend about every new person you are talking to
✅ Trust your gut — if it feels off, it probably is
You might also love this article — one of our most shared. It is about rebuilding your confidence after someone broke your trust, whether that was a scammer or just a regular guy who did not deserve you.
This Is Your Sign to Stop Doing It Alone
Women inside TechMae have been exactly where you are. They have been scammed, they have been manipulated, and they have learned how to spot the red flags before it is too late. Come find your people — the ones who will tell you the truth even when it is hard to hear.
You are not naive for wanting to believe in love. You are not stupid for trusting someone who seemed perfect. You are human. And now you are armed with the information you need to protect yourself from romance scams going forward. Keep your head up, keep your standards high, and never let anyone make you feel bad for protecting your peace — or your wallet.
