“Solitude is not the absence of company. It’s the presence of yourself.”
Listen, I know what you’re thinking. Being alone feels like a punishment, right? Like you’re missing out while everyone else is living their best life on Instagram. You scroll, see the group pics, and suddenly your own company feels…lame.
But what if I told you that learning to enjoy your own solitude is the single biggest power move you can make in your 20s? It’s not about being lonely. It’s about building a relationship with the one person who’s guaranteed to be there forever: you.
Why Does Being Alone Feel So Awkward?
Girl, we’ve been conditioned. From group projects in school to mandatory roommate situations in college, we’re taught that being alone = being a loser. Your brain screams that you should be productive or social every second.
So when you finally have a free hour, you doomscroll or binge Netflix just to fill the silence. It feels easier than actually sitting with your own thoughts. Especially when those thoughts are about tuition, that guy who ghosted you, or your boss’s annoying email.
💡 Quick Tip
Start small. Commit to 15 minutes of true solitude a day. No phone, no podcast, no external input. Just you. Sit on your floor, stare out the window, make a cup of tea. That’s it. Build the muscle.
💊 What Works: Moleskine Classic Notebook – Sounds simple, but writing down the thoughts that come up in your quiet time gets them out of your head. It’s cheaper than therapy and you’ll spot your own patterns real quick.
What Actually Works: The Solitude Menu
Solitude isn’t one-size-fits-all. You need a menu of options, sis. Because sometimes you need active solitude, and sometimes you need deep rest. Here’s how to curate yours.
The key is intentionality. You are choosing the activity, not just killing time. That shift changes everything.
85% of women say their best ideas come in solitude.
Yeah, let that sink in. That scholarship essay idea, that side hustle concept, that solution to your roommate drama? It’s waiting for you in the quiet.
The Truth Nobody Tells You About Solitude
Here’s the real talk: The better you get at being alone, the less desperate you become for other people’s attention. That changes your dating life, your friendships, your job interviews—everything.
When you’re cool with your own company, you stop accepting breadcrumbs from that situationship. You don’t say yes to plans you hate just to have plans. You negotiate your salary from a place of “I know my worth” instead of “please like me.”
“Loneliness is a sign you need someone. Solitude is a sign you’ve found yourself.”
This is the kind of stuff women talk about inside TechMae every single day. No judgment, just real ones keeping it real.
Related: This post is a must-read for women on their journey.
Start Here: Your First Solo Date
Your mission, should you choose to accept it: One solo date this week. Block 90 minutes in your calendar like it’s a doctor’s appointment. This is non-negotiable self-care.
Why This Works:
✅ It proves to your anxiety that you can do things alone and survive (even enjoy it).
✅ It gives you stories and confidence that are 100% yours, not borrowed from a group.
✅ It builds the foundation for a life where your happiness isn’t outsourced to other people’s schedules.
Go to that weird exhibit, get the overpriced smoothie, walk in the park. The activity doesn’t matter. The commitment to your own company does.
You might also love this article – one of our most shared.
This Is Your Sign to Stop Doing It Alone
Women inside TechMae have been exactly where you are. Come find your people.
