“Networking isn’t about collecting business cards. It’s about finding your future work bestie, the one who’ll slide into your DMs with the job link before it’s even posted.”
Listen, I know the word networking makes you want to roll your eyes and close the tab. It sounds like a room full of people in stiff blazers handing out LinkedIn QR codes and talking in corporate jargon.
You’re picturing that awkward career fair where you have to pretend to be passionate about “synergistic paradigms” for three hours. Girl, I get it. That feels fake as hell. But what if I told you that real networking is nothing like that?
What if it’s just… making genuine connections with people who can help you, and who you can help back? It’s the reason you got that internship from your cousin’s friend. It’s the group chat where you all share scholarship links. We’re already doing it. We just need to strip the ick factor away.
Why Does Networking Feel So Forced?
Because we’ve been taught the wrong version. We think it’s transactional. “I talk to you, you give me a job, the end.” That feels gross because it IS gross. It feels like using people.
We also think it’s for extroverts only. That you have to be the loudest, most confident person in the room, working the crowd. Sis, that’s a myth. Some of the best networkers I know are introverts who listen more than they talk.
The anxiety is real. “What do I say?” “What if they think I’m annoying?” “What if I have nothing to offer?” You’re overthinking it. You’re not asking for their first-born child. You’re starting a conversation.
💡 Quick Tip
Reframe the word. Stop saying “networking.” Start saying “making a professional friend” or “learning from someone cool.” It changes the entire energy you bring into the room.
💊 What Works: Moleskine Classic Notebook – Keep a small, chic notebook in your bag. When you meet someone, jot down a note about them *after* the convo (e.g., “Loves graphic design, has a corgi named Bean, mentioned a cool project on sustainable fashion”). It shows you listened and helps you remember details for a genuine follow-up.
What Actually Works: The “Cool Older Sis” Method
Forget the script. Ditch the elevator pitch. Here’s the real, step-by-step method that doesn’t make you feel like a used car salesman.
Step 1: The Digital Warm-Up. Don’t cold-message someone with “Hi, I want a job.” That’s a delete. Instead, engage with their content first. Found a woman on LinkedIn whose career you admire? Comment thoughtfully on her post for a week. Share her article with your take. Then, slide into the DMs with context: “Hey! I’ve been loving your insights on X. Your post about Y really helped me with Z. I’d be so grateful for 15 minutes to ask one quick follow-up question about your journey.” See the difference?
Step 2: The “Ask for Advice, Not a Job” Rule. This is the golden rule. People love giving advice. It makes them feel smart and helpful. “How did you navigate your first role at [Company]?” or “What’s one skill you wish you’d focused on more in college?” is a million times better than “Are you hiring?”
Step 3: The 80/20 Listening Rule. In any conversation, you should be listening 80% of the time. Your job is to ask great questions and be genuinely curious. “That’s so interesting. What was the biggest challenge there?” “How did that make you feel?” People will remember you as an amazing conversationalist, I promise.
85% of jobs are filled through networking.
Yeah, let that sink in. Only 15% of people get jobs from just applying online. The rest? It’s who you know, or who knows YOU because you made a real connection.
Step 4: The Magic Follow-Up. This is where 90% of people fail. You have a great chat, then ghost. Within 24 hours, send a thank you email. Mention ONE specific thing you talked about (the corgi named Bean!). Attach an article or link related to your conversation. This shows you were present and are thinking of them as a person, not a resource.
The Truth Nobody Tells You
Everyone is nervous. The person you’re talking to? Probably felt the same way once. The CEO? Had to ask for help too. The influencer? DMs people she looks up to.
The other truth? Most people WANT to help you, especially other women. We know the climb is harder. We remember being the only girl in the room. There’s a silent understanding. When you reach out respectfully, you’re not a burden. You’re giving someone a chance to be the mentor they wish they’d had.
And listen, rejection is just redirection. If someone doesn’t reply, it’s not about you. They’re busy, overwhelmed, or just bad at emails. Don’t internalize it. Move on to the next cool person.
“Your network is your net worth. But first, your network has to be made of real people you actually give a damn about.”
This is the kind of stuff women talk about inside TechMae every single day. No judgment, just real ones keeping it real.
Related: This post is a must-read for women on their journey.
Start Here: Your 15-Minute Action Plan
Don’t get overwhelmed. Pick ONE thing from this list and do it before the day ends.
Why This Works:
✅ It’s small, so you’ll actually do it.
✅ It builds momentum. One connection leads to another.
✅ It proves to yourself that you can do this without the ick.
Option A (For the Introvert): Go to LinkedIn. Find one alumna from your school (use the alumni tool!) who has a job you think is cool. Send her a connection request WITH A NOTE. “Hi [Name], I’m a current [Your Major] student at [Your School] and have been really inspired by your path into [Her Field]. Would be honored to connect!” That’s it.
Option B (For the “I’m Ready” Girl): Identify one virtual event or workshop happening this month in your field of interest. Register. Your goal is NOT to talk to everyone. Your goal is to find ONE person in the chat who seems cool, and send them a direct message: “Loved your point about X during the talk!”
Option C (For the “I Hate LinkedIn” Sis): Look at your existing circle. Text a friend, cousin, or former coworker you genuinely like: “Hey! I’m exploring [Your Interest] more. Would you be down for a virtual coffee catch-up sometime? I’d love to hear what you’re up to!” This is still networking. It’s just warmer.
You might also love this article – one of our most shared.
This Is Your Sign to Stop Doing It Alone
Women inside TechMae have been exactly where you are. We swap internship leads, practice salary negotiations, and hype each other up daily. This is what real, powerful networking looks like. Come find your people.
