“You don’t need to be broken to go to therapy. You just need to be human.”
Sis, let me tell you something I wish someone had told me when I was 19, crying in a dorm bathroom because my roommate’s boyfriend basically lived with us and I had no idea how to set a boundary: therapy is not just for crisis mode.
I know, I know. You probably grew up hearing that therapy is for people with “real problems.” For people who are “really struggling.” For people who have hit rock bottom. And maybe you’ve told yourself that your stuff isn’t bad enough to deserve help. But girl, that is a lie that keeps so many of us suffering in silence for way too long.
The truth? Therapy is like going to the gym for your brain. You don’t wait until you’re completely out of shape to start working out — you go to maintain, to strengthen, to build resilience. Same exact thing with your mental health. You get to show up even when things are just… okay. Even when you’re just a little stressed. Even when you’re not sure what’s wrong but something feels off.
Why You Think Therapy Isn’t for You
Let’s be real about the reasons you might be avoiding it. Maybe you grew up in a household where feelings weren’t really discussed. Maybe you’re the friend everyone comes to for advice, so you feel like you should have it all figured out. Maybe you’re scared of what you’ll find if you actually sit still and let yourself feel things. Or maybe — and this is a big one — you think your problems aren’t “big enough” to warrant therapy.
Here’s the thing about that last one. If something is bothering you enough that you’re reading this, it’s big enough. If you’re losing sleep over a situationship that’s going nowhere, it’s big enough. If you’re stressed about money, about your future, about whether you picked the right major, about your relationship with your mom — it’s all big enough. You don’t need to be in crisis to deserve support.
I had a friend in college who started therapy because she was tired of crying every time she got a B on a paper. Not failing. Getting a B. But the pressure she put on herself was eating her alive, and she needed someone to help her untangle that. That’s not a crisis — that’s just being a human trying to navigate life without a manual.
💡 Quick Tip
If you’re not sure where to start, check out Open Path Collective — they offer therapy sessions for $40-$70 with licensed therapists. No insurance required. Most therapists also offer a free 15-minute consultation call so you can see if you vibe before committing.
What Therapy Actually Looks Like (Not What TV Shows You)
Okay, let me clear something up. Therapy is not you lying on a couch while someone with a beard asks “and how does that make you feel?” every five seconds. It’s not some mysterious, intimidating thing. It’s literally just a conversation with a trained professional who helps you understand yourself better.
Some sessions, you’ll talk about your childhood. Some sessions, you’ll literally spend 45 minutes figuring out why you keep dating people who treat you mid. Some sessions, you’ll learn actual skills — like how to breathe when you’re about to spiral, or how to communicate with your roommate without wanting to fight. It’s practical. It’s useful. And honestly, it’s kind of wild that we don’t teach this stuff in school.
I remember one of my first therapy sessions in my early twenties. I was so nervous I almost cancelled three times. And then I got there, and my therapist asked me what I wanted to work on, and I literally said “I don’t know, I just feel weird all the time.” And she didn’t laugh or judge me. She just said “okay, let’s figure out what that weird feeling is.” And we did. And it changed everything.
💊 What Works: “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb – This book is basically like sitting down with a therapist who also happens to be a hilarious, honest friend. It’ll make you feel way less scared about starting therapy. I’ve recommended it to like 15 people and every single one of them texted me saying “okay I get it now.”
What Actually Works When You’re Ready to Start
Alright, so you’re maybe thinking “okay, fine, maybe I could try this therapy thing.” But then the practical questions hit. How do you find someone? How do you afford it? What if you get a therapist you don’t like? Let me break it down for you.
Step one: Figure out what you want. Do you want to talk about anxiety? Family stuff? Relationship patterns? Body image? Career stress? Some therapists specialize in specific things, so knowing what you want to focus on helps narrow it down. But also — it’s totally fine if you don’t know. A good therapist will help you figure it out.
Step two: Use the right tools to find someone. Psychology Today’s therapist directory lets you filter by insurance, specialty, gender, ethnicity, and even what vibe you’re going for. You can literally search for a therapist who specializes in “college students” or “young women” or “LGBTQ+ issues.” It’s like dating apps but for your mental health.
Step three: Don’t settle for the first therapist you talk to if it doesn’t feel right. This is so important, sis. You wouldn’t date someone you didn’t click with, right? Same thing here. If you have a session and leave feeling worse or unheard or like they don’t get you — find someone else. It’s not personal. It’s just fit.
70% of young women say they’ve avoided therapy because they thought their problems weren’t “serious enough.”
Let that sink in. You are not alone in feeling this way.
How to Afford Therapy When You’re on a Ramen Noodle Budget
I know the money thing is real. Therapy can be expensive, and when you’re paying for tuition or rent or just trying to survive on a barista salary, dropping $150 a session feels impossible. But there are options, and I need you to know about them.
First — check if your school offers free or low-cost counseling. Most colleges and universities have a counseling center that’s included in your tuition or available for a small fee. I know people who went every other week for four years and paid nothing. If you’re in college, this is literally already paid for. Use it.
Second — look into sliding scale therapists. This means they charge based on what you can afford. Some go as low as $30-$50 a session. You just have to ask. When you email them, say “I’m a student/young professional and I’m looking for sliding scale options. What’s the lowest rate you offer?” Most therapists will work with you.
Third — online therapy platforms like BetterHelp and Talkspace often have financial aid options. They also tend to be cheaper than in-person therapy, and you can text your therapist between sessions, which is honestly amazing when you’re having a moment at 2am and need someone to talk you down.
Fourth — and this is a hack not enough people know about — check if your employer or your parents’ insurance covers therapy. Even if you’re on their plan, you might have mental health benefits you don’t even know exist. Call the number on the back of your insurance card and ask “what’s my mental health coverage?” It takes ten minutes and could save you hundreds of dollars.
Why This Works:
✅ Sliding scale therapists exist specifically for people with limited income — you just have to ask
✅ School counseling centers are literally free and designed for exactly what you’re going through
✅ Online platforms often have financial aid applications that can cut costs by 30-50%
The Truth Nobody Tells You About Therapy
Here’s what nobody warned me about: the first few sessions might actually make you feel worse before you feel better. And that’s normal. When you’ve been holding things in for years, opening the door to all of it can feel overwhelming at first. You might cry more. You might feel more anxious. You might question whether it’s working.
But that’s like saying “I went to the gym once and I’m sore, so working out doesn’t work.” The soreness is the healing happening. The discomfort is you finally giving yourself permission to feel things you’ve been avoiding. And on the other side of that discomfort is a version of you who knows herself better, sets better boundaries, and doesn’t let other people’s drama live rent-free in her head.
Another thing nobody tells you? You don’t have to stay with the same therapist forever. Some people do therapy for a few months to get through a rough patch. Some people go for years because they love having that space. Some people switch therapists when they outgrow them. There’s no wrong way to do it. It’s your journey.
“Therapy isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about learning that you were never broken in the first place.”
What You Can Do Right Now (Even If You’re Not Ready for Therapy Yet)
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking “okay, I’m not there yet. But I want to start somewhere.” I see you. Here are three things you can do today that are basically therapy-adjacent.
One: Start journaling. Not the “dear diary” kind, unless that’s your vibe. Just write for five minutes about what’s actually going on in your head. Don’t edit it. Don’t judge it. Just let it out. I use a guided journal called “Start Where You Are” when I don’t know what to write, and it helps so much.
Two: Find one person you can be real with. Not the friend who’s going to say “omg same” and then make it about her. Someone who will just listen. If you don’t have that person yet, that’s what communities like TechMae are for. You’d be shocked how much lighter you feel when you say the thing out loud to someone who gets it.
Three: Do some research. Spend 15 minutes on Psychology Today’s directory just looking at therapist profiles. Read their bios. See who resonates with you. You don’t have to book anything. Just get familiar with the idea that there are people out there who are trained to help you, and they’re not scary.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
Here’s what I’ve learned after years of doing my own therapy work and watching the women around me do theirs: the sooner you start, the less time you waste carrying things you don’t have to carry. So many of us spend years trying to figure things out alone, thinking we’re supposed to have it all together, when really we just needed someone to help us sort through the noise.
Therapy gave me the tools to stop people-pleasing. It helped me understand why I kept choosing partners who weren’t available. It taught me how to set boundaries with my family without feeling guilty. It gave me a space to say the things I was too ashamed to say to anyone else. And honestly? It made me a better friend, a better partner, and a better version of myself.
You deserve that too. Not when you’re in crisis. Not when everything falls apart. Right now, exactly where you are.
This is the kind of stuff women talk about inside TechMae every single day. No judgment, just real ones keeping it real.
Related: This post is a must-read for women on their journey.
Start Here
Your one action for today: Go to Psychology Today’s therapist directory and spend 10 minutes just browsing. Don’t book anything. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Just look. Read some bios. See if anyone’s vibe resonates with you. That’s it. That’s the first step.
Why This Works:
✅ Low-pressure exposure — you’re just looking, not committing
✅ You get to see that therapists are just normal humans with normal bios
✅ You might find someone who actually sounds like they get you
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